No words needed …
I am grateful to @courosa for so many things. He introduced me to Twitter and changed the way I do so many things . I am mostly grateful for the friendship we have developed and all the amazing relationships that have developed because of this social media platform. Thank you Alec for who you are and what you do. It has made me a better person online and off. To all of my #etmooc friends I adore you. Thank you Paul for reading my blogs and caring. Twitter continues to allow me to forge great friendships and so much more .
Especially during this time everyone will have a story of how they got through Covid19 or what happened to them , a family member or friend.
Our role as helpers will be to listen and support, no matter the story. It won’t necessarily be easy as sometimes we may be triggered when listening to others. We are not perfect, I know I am not that’s for sure. I want to give myself an extra dose of compassion at this time as I too have had a range of emotions. Maybe you should too.
We are humans and our humanity makes us people who are often complex. Being the best person we can be is a lifetime venture, filled with many bumps along the way. Through this pandemic many will have gigantic bumps to deal with, my heart goes out to those that do.
As you and I both navigate this chapter in our lives may we do it with courage , grace , compassion and help others along the way that are struggling to the best of our ability, because everyone has a story that they may or may not be willing to share behind the smile..
I love finding icebreakers to use with students . This one is a lot of fun and can easily be used virtually. If you want to get to know me better I am adding a little video that I did a couple of years back from our year end production with Second Chants. I put the video in the virtual locker, but if you are like me it is so small (which might not be a bad thing) . I laugh at myself every time I watch it. If it brings a smile to your face that is good too.
Here is the bitmoji locker template
Here is the bitmoji chrome extension
Here is my example of a virtual locker introduction .
Here is another example using this google doc.
You can check out this tutorial below.
Living through a pandemic is different for each of us. Your feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. It’s ok to talk about and share your feelings. Acknowledging your feelings is essential to your well being. Below are a few feelings that you may be able to relate to. It’s not all doom or gloom.
How you may be feeling:
- Adaptable You feel that you can roll with whatever happens.
- Anxious, afraid, or feeling a bit of panic that this fall may cause an increase in infections. Or that someone you care about may now be put in harm’s way when they weren’t before.
- Angry or feeling frustrated that some people may not be following the pandemic health rules. Or that the measures in place aren’t enough. Or that you have to look after so many people, your children, your parents, your siblings, others and you may have to work too. Where is the time for you?
- Brave You know that you have what it takes to deal with a crisis.
- Courageous doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid, but that you have the capacity to see clearly and self soothe. It takes courage to be with things the way they are. You feel courage.
- Conflicted You want to socialize more, but feel that you should still stay at home.
- Confident that you have the coping skills to assist you during this time.
- Distrustful of how the government is handling all the guidelines and rules or how things are being portrayed in the media.
- Determined to live in the present and move forward towards your goals.
- Grief for a multitude of reasons.
- Grateful for so many small things.
- Happy you are surrounded by positive people either virtually or face to face.
- Hopeful You acknowledge that the virus is serious, but you will get through this pandemic in the best way possible.
- Loved by your family. So happy you have them to support you.
- Powerless like you don’t have any control or say in anything that’s happening.
- Protective of your routine you do not want to deal with any more change or uncertainty.
- Positive You get up every day and make the best of your life in a pandemic.
- Reluctant to rearrange events like celebrations, get-togethers, parties that couldn’t happen during the pandemic
- Realistic You know that this pandemic isn’t easy, but feel self-assured you have what it takes to get through it.
- Uneasy about some of your relationships that have changed during the pandemic.
- Useful You feel like you have been able to contribute in a positive way during this pandemic.
- Stigmatized or that others may avoid you You may have already had coronavirus, or others think what you do makes you more likely to spread the virus.
- Secure and safe You know people are around you that support and help you.
- Stressed about a lot of things like …
- Under pressure to return to school/work when you can’t, or when you feel it’s not safe to.
- Unsupported You may be asked to go back to school/work without having access to things like personal protective equipment (PPE), or feelings of safety and security.
- Understood You have people who listen to your concerns.
- Valued Most people respect how you are dealing with the pandemic.
What other feelings are you feeling ? Acknowledge them and share with a trusted confidant. You can also check out some strategies to help here.
Your feelings are important. Each child, teen and adult will react differently based on numerous factors. My hope is that no matter what happens you have the supports and coping skills to overcome whatever challenges come your way, it starts with acknowledging your true feelings.
Life is not all doom and gloom in a pandemic.
What are some basics that could be helpful to you as a new school counsellor?
- Write an introduction letter to parents letting them know who you are and what you do and post it on the school counselling and school website. (If by chance your school does not have a website design a letter introducing yourself and put it in the school newsletter ( put it in the newsletter anyway.) If you wish to do a digital introduction or video introduction you can do that too.
- Send this out to students on the school instagram, twitter or other account.
- Introduce yourself to as many teachers as you possibly can. In a large school, this will take time. Virtually you can introduce yourself and let teachers know what services you can provide.
- Plan to meet with your administration team at THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR and least once a month. You can do this virtually through google meet or zoom, but put it in your calendar. Celebrate what you do and how you are doing. Discuss what the expectations are of a Comprehensive School Counselling Plan and how you can work together to accomplish this.
- Implement a joint admin. counseling blog post at least four times throughout the school year. Counsellors and admin should be joint leaders in any school.
- Show initiative. Everyone in a school will benefit. If you have some great ideas, don’t be afraid to share or try out your ideas.
- Discuss limits of confidentiality with every student. You might want to put a poster of the limits on your office wall or in your intro to students.
- Visually make your office a space students want to be in as best as possible during this time. Make your space at home a comfortable place to connect with students.
- Develop a monthly calendar of things to do and check off when you complete them.
- Have a plan when meeting new students. Virtually you will need to connect with their homeroom teacher and then have them connect with you by email. When phoning student find ways to connect that hide your cell number.
- It might be helpful to keep a notebook of all the things you need to know especially if you are in a new school or counselling a new age group.
- You will want to find a simple and easy way to curate information. I use livebinders wakelet and pinterest. They can be extremely helpful tools for new counsellors as well as those that have been around for awhile.
- You need to be a positive PR person for the school counseling program , so find many ways to connect with students. Brainstorm with your colleagues ways to make connections with students so that they know who you are and what you do.
- Connect with parents. Let them know through parent council or other means what you do.
- Ask for help. You are not expected to know everything. Utilize the professionals inside and outside of your building for support. If you are an Alberta School Counsellor . Join your specialist council. Join your specialist council in your area wherever you are in the world. ASCA has many supports whether you are American or not, I would recommend joining the American School Counsellor Association.
- Learn as you go about the many community resources that are available and put them in a binder or livebinder.
- Don’t be afraid to share your innovative or creative ideas with your counselling team ( if you have one). They and you will benefit!
- BALANCE we all benefit from taking care of ourselves. Don’t burn yourself out in the first year. Practice self-care.
- You have a big learning curve. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.
Check out this amazing well organized livebinder by one of my past colleagues.
You can also check out some of my past resources here.
For all of you who are new to school counselling have a wonderful experience and know that what you do absolutely matters.
Welcome to one of the best professions in the world,
Consult, consult, consult. I can’t say that enough. There will be many new experiences that you will encounter as a School Counsellor. You can’t be expected to know everything, so please take advantage of all the great mentors and knowledgeable people that are out there. It is more than ok to not know what to do next. Even after forty years in education , I still consult. I must say that it will be more crucial than ever in a pandemic as the unknown will occur for all.
Caplan said that “consultation has the twofold goal of enhancing services and improving functions, both for the consultee’s current challenge and future challenge”. Sometimes you will be the one that teachers want to consult with and at other times you will need to consult with district supervisors, community agencies, and others regarding the complex needs of students. Your students and you deserve the best services possible. Consulting and collaboration helps School Counselors take action, demonstrate leadership , connect with other professionals who are leaders in their field and ultimately make a difference in the lives of students. So when unsure reach out and consult.
This year more than any other year we will all need to take a mental vacation. Maybe you will need to take one hourly , daily or weekly whatever works for you.
Turn on a YouTube video with calming music. You can find one here in my virtual calm room. Then lay back in a comfortable space. If you are doing this from home make sure your space is a positive place for you to feel comfortable in. You may want to spice your working space up a bit . Add flowers and visuals that bring you joy.
Then close your eyes and breathe using the box breathing method. Think about a place you love and that feels safe for you. Personally , I always go to the beach in my mind. It might have something to do with all the summers I spent on beaches. I love the smells and the sounds of water. I picture being on the beach and waving my arms around in complete joy with a big smile on my face, but you do what works for you.
Take that mental vacation whenever you need it and ask anyone you want to join you in that space or just be by yourself and feel all the feels that make sense in the moment.
Where are you going on your mental vacation?
Spending time with friends is always my favourite thing to do. Tonight we got to spend time with our lifelong friends as they celebrated 35 years together. It was a beautiful evening walking along the Sydney waterfront. Anytime we get to see friends it’s almost as if Covid does not exist at least for a few moments in time.
We need to base what we do on theoretical perspectives that are useful and helpful. Humanists like Carl Rogers ,Viktor E Frankl have impacted me, but so to have others in the field of psychology like Albert Ellis, Irvin Yalom, Fritz Perls, Ed Jacobs, David Burns, Virginia Satir, Donald Meichenbaum, Claudia Black, and Mary Pipher to name a few. There is no one right approach. You need to discover what you believe and make sure it works for you and your students. Developing a sound relationship online and off is essential. Using all the skills you learned in grad school can make a difference. Demonstrate empathy, be genuine and respectful, but more importantly be yourself. Therapeutic alliance will always matter.
If you are going to read anything to start your career I would suggest the following:
If you haven’t already read it , I highly recommend Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
Dr. Allen Francis Saving Normal: An Insider’s Revolt against Out-of-Control Psychiatric Diagnosis, DSM-5, Big Pharma, and the Medicalization of Ordinary Life is a must for your bookshelf.
Dr. Erin Mason 101 Solutions for School Counsellors and Leaders in Challenging Times. So many great tips, resources and helpful strategies.
One of my all time favourite people who has influenced me and the way I interact is Leo Buscagalia. His lessons on life have truly had a positive impact on my life and as a result I have passed this on to others.
“To live in love is to live in life, and to live in life is to live in love.” “It’s not enough to have lived. We should determine to live for something. May I suggest that it be creating joy for others, sharing what we have for the betterment of person kind, bringing hope to the lost and love to the lonely.” Only you will be able to discover, realize, develop and actualize your uniqueness. And when you do, it’s your duty to then to “give it away.” Leo Buscagalia
Each theorist, counsellor and counsellor educator has impacted the way I interact and help students. Along the way I have also worked with some amazing school counsellors , educators and supervisors who have also influenced me in a positive way. Thanks especially to Diane Williams, Deana Helton and Helen MacKinnon. Also to the many School Counsellors in CSSD and #scchat I have much gratitude . Two very special Counsellor Educators and friends Ed Jacobs and Erin Mason thanks for all you do and who you are.
Lesson 2 : Keep learning and base it on theory. Which ones have impacted you?