For Desmond Tutu meeting Trevor Huddleston determined the path of his life. In my own life there are many defining moments that led me to who I am today. Teachers, coaches , community members and a School Counsellor had an impact.
In grade 12 (1976) my School Counsellor Mrs. Brown gave me $100.00 towards my post secondary education. My family could not afford to pay my way. I was the first in my family to go to University so it was certainly a big deal. I did not realize at the time just how much money that was or even how incredible it was that she did that. What a gift and an impact she had on the trajectory of my life. A lacrosse scholarship and a bursary ( both recommended by community members) paid for all four years of my Bachelor of Child Study degree. How fortunate was I ?
I never underestimate the power of a small (albeit grand) gesture in forming who we are and what we choose to do in our lives. I intentionally make sure each day I work with students I keep that in mind. I intentionally pay it forward on as many occasions as I can.
All it takes is a defining moment and you might be the one that makes that happen and if someone makes that happen for you tell them.
You have them , I have had them. You know that student that you had no idea you had such an impact on, but they let you know years later. Sometimes 36 years later as I did two years ago. A young man came into the office at the High School I was working in at the time. He wanted to see me to tell me how I had influenced his life. He had googled me and tracked me down because he wanted to tell me his story . I am grateful he did as I would have never known that I had affected his life in the way he let me know I had.
I have been blessed with letters and notes from students who have told me they believed I had saved their life. It is an honour and privilege that they believe something I said or did had impacted them in such a positive way. More often than not we don’t get these notes, calls or letters and we may not know the impact we have had on students. Not because we did not , but because the person may not have put their thoughts to words for whatever reason.
A couple of days ago one of my best friends who is also a retired School Counsellor , got one of those notes from a student whom she had known 18 years ago. The note was from a young woman reporting she was now happily married with two children , She told my friend that she was the reason she was alive, happy and successful today. She let her know it was World Suicide Prevention Day and that maybe my friend would like to know the impact she had on her life when she was in High School.
The woman had tracked my friend down on Facebook and felt compelled to write her the beautiful moving, heartfelt note (I’m purposefully leaving out the details, but trust me we both cried a lot reading it) . Of course she had no idea that particular student felt that way. So what a gift it was to receive a note like this. It is truly why we do what we do choosing to be in education.
If one young person is impacted in this way by what we have said or done, then our years of dedication to a career we have loved is all worth while. We both agreed that we were so fortunate to work in schools with amazing young people and feel truly blessed to have had a career we both were passionate about.
So many still do not fully understand what a School Counsellor does behind closed doors, but know and trust that you need to keep doing what you are doing as a School Counselor wherever you are in the world. You can never know the impact you can have. Small gestures and words can matter.
The effect you have as a School Counsellor is not always measurable , but that does not matter. What you say and do everyday does.
I have been going to school almost every September for the past 53 years. When I reflect on that I can hardly believe it myself. This year as I focus on all the joy each day brings me, I am also going to reflect on my retirement year. The lasts …
The last time I will enter a building as a full-time educator . This awesome responsibility never eludes me. I know I can be the person who makes a difference in a child’s life. I will meet so many new students this year, many who will teach me great lessons. I look forward to that.
I also recognize that teaching and counselling takes great courage and energy. Often after a full week I feel like the pic above and need to rejuvenate for the week ahead. Weekends are a time for self-care and reflection so that the week ahead is exciting not only for the students , but for me as well.
I also recognize that each day requires me to challenge myself to focus on the positive while acknowledging that challenges will always occur along the way. It is up to me to not sweat the small stuff. Although I will never feel the anxiety I felt my first days of teaching “don’t sweat the small stuff “, still applies as much today as it did then.
I need to take each day as it comes and enjoy the moments. I must say easier to do as I have grown as a person and as an educator over the past years. Do I still fall short ? You bet. This is a life skill that is easy to say , but not always easy to master.
This will be my last first week of school … How did you feel your first week back to school?
We chose this profession. It is the best profession ever. All professions have struggles. Focus on the positive. Work towards making things better by being an advocate for other School Counsellors. Join your professional organization, have a voice on twitter and /or write a blog celebrating all the amazing things that happen in our profession.
Self care is so important to what we do. We can’t help others if we don’t help ourselves.
Embrace your professionalism. You were trained well. Be ethical. Consult, consult consult.
Model a positive attitude towards work each and everyday.Your students will notice and feel it when you set the tone in your school and in your offices.
Be a good digital citizen. Be authentic , but if you need to vent do so privately and with colleagues in counselling who understand. Never vent online.
Connecting and collaborating makes us better at what we do. Collaboration has made me better at what I do. It actually makes the work I do easier. Share , connect and collaborate. It will make you a better professional.
Passion and purpose help our students. If we wake up with the mindset that we have an awesome responsibility to help others today knowing that each and everyday we have an opportunity to make a difference. We don’t always see the fruits of our labour , but that’s ok because we know that the small things we do can have a huge impact.
You are you. Be the best version of yourself. Don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to any other School Counsellor. Continually focus on professionally developing yourself so that you impact students in a positive way.
Live every day One Day At a Time. Easy to say , not easy to do. Focus all of your energies on making this the best day ever. Just for today I will … laugh.
Maintain gratitude for the work that we do. Being gratefulfor what we do rather than focusing on the things that we are not happy about is always a great state of mind. We chose this profession. I am grateful everyday that I did.
It is the second year for Canadian School Counselling Week and I am very hopeful we will see more Canadian School Counsellors on twitter connecting and learning from each other. It is also National School Counselling Week started by my fellow Americans so I want to wish them and all the School Counsellors around the world an amazing week and an amazing career because it is . I still love this profession the same as when I started. Really, I love the students they make me love what I do.
If you are new to twitter and a School Counsellor anywhere in the world please follow the hashtags #SCCrowd and #scchat.
I’ve adapted the public announcements to suit our school and you can too. We plan on sharing these all week long.
Monday:This is Canadian School Counsellor Week. Today we challenge each student and staff member to express your gratitude to someone at school by telling them thank you for… You could even write a card to them. The cards will be available all week in Student Services. Being grateful improves your overall happiness. Do it today! You make a difference.
Tuesday:It is Canadian School Counsellor Week. Today we challenge students and staff to do one small good deed and when you do please post it to the hashtag #carrollculture or come and share with us what you did and we will share it on our school Facebook site. Have a fabulous day. You make a difference.
Wednesday:This week is Canadian School Counselling Week. We challenge you today we challenge you to take 10 mins. out of your day to exercise or practice mindfulness. Set up a fitbit challenge with friends. Need more information or tips please pick up todays tips in Student Services. Have a great day! You can make a difference.
Thursday: It is Canadian School Counsellor Week. Today we challenge students and staff to let one of your family members know how important they are. Pick up a card in Student Services and tell people what a difference they make in your life and give it to them. Remember you can make a difference today.
Friday: It is the last day of School Counselling Week. Your School Counsellors want you to know we are here for you anytime. Come see us in Students Services. Today we challenge you to think about your favourite wellness quote and post it to the hashtag #carrollculture or share it with us in Student Services and we will feature it in the upcoming weeks. Have a wonderful weekend and remember, you make a difference.
This week is a time to be grateful and reflect. I am so grateful I have a principal who fully supports a comprehensive school Counselling Program and if you do too , make sure you take time to thank them.
Nothing matters more to me than my family. I am at a point in life where our children are grown up and don’t need me as much, but I continue to love every moment I spend with them. They bring a smile to my face and joy in my heart every time I sit down to a meal with them or get to be around them. I am grateful … oh so grateful. I hope my children and husband realize just how much they mean to me not only by my actions, but also through my words. Part of the reason I blog is for my children so that they can see another piece of who their mother is. My heart is so full of love for them.
“One Hundred Years From Now”
One hundred years from now
It won’t matter
What kind of car I drove
What kind of house I lived in
How much money I had in the bank
Nor what my clothes looked like
BUT
The world may be a little better
Because, I was important
In the life of a child.
Author: (excerpt from “Within My Power” by Forest Witcraft)
“What A Difference You’ve Made In My Life”. This is the song that played at our wedding and it holds true for my children as well as my husband. Seeing this you tube video was a trip down memory lane for me because as a teenager I loved Donny Osmond. We’ll let’s say i liked him,my friend was obsessed with him .I flew to Toronto to see him with my friend Evelyn when I was fifteen years old. (LOL) . I digress. The point I really want to make is my children and my husband have made a profound positive difference in my life.
2. Friends
I am so fortunate to have amazing friendships that lift me up, bring me great joy and fill my heart with love. We have bonds that cannot be broken. We share so many special moments in life. Each friendship I have I absolutely treasure. I value the precious moments I have with them and don’t ever take them for granted.
I moved to Calgary via Nova Scotia and Atikameg in 1981. It was a move that would change the course of my life and so began my story of lifelong adult relationships.
Fortunately for me I have enjoyed wonderful friendships in my life, so I knew how they could make a difference and sustain me. I have lifelong childhood friends from Nova Scotia who remain my dear friends today. Even though I have been away for thirty-five years, we still make a point of seeing each other and celebrating our friendships every summer.
Little did I know when I moved to Calgary, it would become my home or that I would discover extraordinary life giving friendships that would sustain me for life. “The gang” as we would so affectionately call ourselves are wonderful, kind, intelligent, considerate, amazing, loving and caring people. Our connections remain unbreakable.
The thing that I think is so amazing about these people is that we have been friends for over twenty-five years and never ever had a fight or major disagreement with one another.
In over twenty-five years we have missed very little time where we go not seeing each other. We have celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, New Years, birthdays, births, deaths, and we often get together for absolutely no reason at all. There rarely goes by a month where we don’t sit down once , twice or even more times together to enjoy a feast.
Every celebration creates fabulous memories. We laugh, sing, play games, tell stories and just plain enjoy each other’s company. Our children have been blessed with such great role models of positive, lasting friendships.
We are there for each other whenever anyone needs something no matter what. I can count on these people for whatever I need. They are my family. No, we are not related, but we are closer than some families. We have made a connection that will last a lifetime.
What do we all have in common? We moved to Calgary to work. We needed to be able to use the skills from our education. It was a place to create a life for ourselves. None of us knew we would remain in Calgary after all these years. There are other commonalities, but this and the fact that we all had no family in Calgary brought us together.
We all happen to be from a place near the water. Prince Edward Island, Vancouver and Nova Scotia. Other friends come to some of our celebrations, but they don’t get to celebrate all of them because they have family here in Calgary. The rest of us don’t ( except for a few cousins who we adore).
I absolutely love these people, and so do our children. We have been blessed with laughter in abundance over the years. I have positive memories that are etched vividly in my mind and will be passed on down to our children and hopefully our future grandchildren. There are stories upon stories that have been shared over the years. We never get tired of telling each other stories.
When I tell people about how much we really care about each other after all these years, they are often amazed. Really, we have never fought with each other about anything throughout the years.
What a gift I have been given. If I could I’d jump over mountains for these people I most definately would. They make such a difference in my life. I have work friends, neighbourhood friends, long distance friends , on line friends ( yes, you can create amazing on line friendships) and lifetime friends. Each holds a special place in my heart. each is a true gift.
I have been so blessed with all the friends that surround me. I can’t even put into words what they have meant to me.
If I pass anything onto my children it will be this.
Find great friends, not friends you necessarily always agree with all the time, but friends who you love being around and they love being around you.
Friends who :
accept you just the way you are
you can laugh and cry with
would be there in a minute no matter what you needed
the spouses / partners like and respect each other
don’t mind being silly with you no matter how old you are
share the good times and the bad with you
you always know will be there no matter what the circumstances
share your hopes, dreams, successes and losses
find friends who always seem to know the right thing to say or do
I am so happy to celebrate my friends. I want to shout from the mountaintops that YOU have provided me with some of the happiest memories of my life. I LOVE YOU so so much!
3. Life is To Be Lived
I have believed for many many years that we need to live life to the fullest, maybe because of all the early deaths that have happened to people I have loved or people I have cared for. Zach is an amazing example for all of us. He is a teacher with many wonderful lessons and ones that are definitely worth sharing.
You don’t have to find out you are dying to start living
most people live in the middle, but you don’t have to
be empathetic and compassionate
always look for the good in people
things are OK when you believe in something greater
what makes you happy is seeing someone else smile because you put it there
what’s awesome about living in this world is that you can help people
the structure of a family is great
to be in the same room with your siblings is enough
it is not the life in your years , but the years and passion you put into your life
spend time with the people you love
it’s ok to dream big
celebrate the life you have
you can communicate love through music
music can heal
releasing feelings through music is helpful
letting people know you love them is important
sticking together as a family is extremely important
be happy no matter what
treat people the same and everything will be fine
smile despite what is happening in your life
memories are essential…create positive ones
friendships help
fill your heart up with joy
it’s ok to have ultimate dreams
people we don’t really know can change our lives
the way you live matters
surround yourself with those people that lift you up
LOVE makes life BETTER
Zach says it alll better than I could ever do, his message is one that I will share again and again. Thanks Zach for giving us your gift of life. I know I treasure each day I have been given.
4. Find a Career You Love
I have been blessed with work I love to do. I have felt honoured to be able to be in the presence of so many students who have helped to teach me so much in life. I feel honoured that they allow me to enter into their world. Each day I go to work I am grateful. It doesn’t mean that every moment of every day I am happy, but most moments of most days I really am very happy. My work brings me great joy and fulfillment. I really try to put passion into practice .
5. Have Hope
Life is not always easy and sometimes just downright hard, but having hope has gotten me through all the rough times. Even when I might have felt like giving up I haven’t because I could see a spark of hope. May you find HOPE in your life.
Music can heal the soul and inspire hope. I love music , well who doesn’t. This last song is one when I hear it , I think of my husband who I am forever grateful for. Finding him is a gift that has made my life better. The words speak what I have in my heart.
This reflective post has been worth sharing for me. Thanks to Maureen Crawford for inspiring this post.
Now I challenge you . What are your 5 things worth sharing?
I am so inspired by the First Ladies commitment to help students #reachhigher as well as her dedication and support for School Counsellors.
When I reflect back to my high school years , I am not sure if I would have attended University if it were not for my School Counsellor, Mrs. Brownfrom Dartmouth High School. I certainly could not afford to go to post-secondary , even though I had worked part-time for a very long time. In fact I am certain I would not have attended, if it were not for that meeting.
It was only after a meeting with my School Counsellor who led me in the direction of a Bachelor of Child Study at MSVU Mount Saint Vincent University in Halifax, that I even considered the possibility. She also contributed $100.00 to my University Education which was a lot of money back then. I am so grateful to Mrs. Brown ( who has since passed away ) . I never got to thank her , but I have attempted to pay it forward many times.
Becoming a School Counsellor was never on my radar back then , but again as I reflect back I am sure that one gesture had a HUGE impact on me. I would be the first child in my family to graduate from University.
My community also stepped up to help me. I was very fortunate to receive a university scholarship for playing lacrosse from Canada Fitness and Amateur Sport( A member of my community Shannon Park – Wallis Heights – a forces base, pointed me in this direction to get this scholarship ) . I also received a bursary from Officers’ Wives.
They say it takes a village to raise a child , and for me that was true. My community came together to help and support me and as a result I now have a University education and a lifelong love of learning. I am forever grateful. I feel passionate about students believing they can go on to post-secondary, no matter what their situation.
So School Counsellors, let’s gather together and let students know they can #reachhigher , no matter where they live whether it be in Canada , the US or wherever they live in the world.
Make a poster like the one I did above and share it . Maybe one student will be inspired to reach for their dreams. A special thanks Mrs. Obama for your fabulous leadership and support for School Counsellors . We feel it everywhere.
Thanks to all those who helped me reach my dreams along the way including so many teachers who I adored and one special School Counsellor who really made it all possible. Mrs. Brown, you made a difference. If ever any one of your relatives reads this, know the impact one person can have to change the trajectory of a child’s life. I strive to be that kind of person each and every day for the students in my care.
On Tuesday,BCHS had its first ever Career Speed Datingevent. It was a fabulous event for students and guests alike. Although the idea was conceived last year we did not make it happen until this year. We decided to invite our alumni as well as parents for our first of hopefully many Career Speed Dating events.
CAREER SPEED DATING
THIS YEAR MARCH 4th 2016.
9:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
You will have 5 minutes to share your story.
Introduce yourself and share what you do in your career/vocation.
Ask students to introduce themselves.
Tell students what you are passionate about in your career.
Tell them the skills they need to be successful at work – now and in the future. What attributes do you seek in our employees and co-workers?
If time allows, tell them about the process you took to get where you are (education, career advancement, training, job changes).
If you are a Bishop Carroll graduate, please explain how the self-directed learning model impacted your work life (i.e. the relationship with your TA, independent study, flexible scheduling, and continuous progress).
Thank you for sharing.
The day will begin with student tours at 9:00 a.m., ending at 9:50 a.m. If you are interested in the tour, please join our student tour guides in the gym.
10:00 a.m. CAREER SPEED DATING begins in the gym. At the end of each 5 minute interval a bell will inform YOU to move one person to their right. You will repeat your story with 10 different students, finishing at approximately 11:00 a.m.
11:00 – 11:05 a.m. Please find your name tag, placed on the wall located on the outskirts of the gym.
11:05 – 11:30 a.m. QUESTION PERIOD. Sit at your designated place to be available for questions. This is an opportunity for any student to learn from your diverse experiences by posing additional questions or who did not get to visit with you during the speed dating component.
11:30 a.m. – 12:15 p.m. Lunch is provided in the gym.
Here is an overview of the day:
The day began with student tours at 9:00 a.m., ending at 9:50 a.m. Student tour guides met our guests in the gym.
9:50 -10:00 All guests were asked to sit in the circle that was already set up and given an explanation of the morning as well as a warm welcome by our Principal Mr. O’ Flaherty who was instrumental in making this day happen.
10:00 a.m.CAREER SPEED DATING began in the gym. At the end of each 5 minute interval a bell informed the adults ( originally we thought the students should move , but felt it would be better at the time if the adults moved as they were there to give instructions as to what to do).
An explanation was given to all guests 5 min. prior to event, to move one person to their right. Guests repeated their story with 10 different students, finishing at approximately 11:00 a.m.
(When our guests arrived they were asked to locate their names on the outskirts of the gym for the 11:00 o’clock Q and A period.)
11:00 – 11:05 a.m. Guests went to their designated chair located on the outskirts of the gym.
11:05 – 11:30 a.m. QUESTION PERIOD.Guests sit or stood at their designated place to be available for questions. They were told that this was an opportunity for any student to learn from their diverse experiences allowing students to pose any additional questions or to provide an opportunity for those who did not get to visit with them during the Speed Dating component to do so. This also allowed those students who signed up, but did not get a chance to do the 10:00 o’clock Speed Dating component to come into the gym and ask anyone any questions they might have. 11:30 a.m – 12:15 p.m. Lunch was provided in the gym for GUEST Speakers
How did we make this day happen?
1. A letter went out to all parents inviting them to participate by email. We can send out a mass email to all parents in our community.
2. Our staff was asked if they could invite alumni.
3. A mass phone message went out to all inviting parents to the event.
4. Once we had a list, our fabulous Admin. Head Secretary Pam sent out a letter to all guests telling them what the day would look like and some hints on how to approach their talk.
BISHOP CARROLL HIGH SCHOOL
CAREER SPEED DATING Letter
November 18, 2014
9:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.
You will have 5 minutes to share your story.
Introduce yourself and share what you do in your career/vocation.
Ask students to introduce themselves.
Tell students what you are passionate about in your career.
Tell them the skills they need to be successful at work – now and in the future. What attributes do you seek in our employees and co-workers?
If time allows, tell them about the process you took to get where you are (education, career advancement, training, job changes).
If you are a Bishop Carroll graduate, please explain how the self-directed learning model impacted your work life (i.e. the relationship with your TA, independent study, flexible scheduling, and continuous progress).
Thank you for sharing.
The day will begin with student tours at 9:00 a.m., ending at 9:50 a.m. If you are interested in the tour, please join our student tour guides in the gym.
10:00 a.m. CAREER SPEED DATING begins in the gym. At the end of each 5 minute interval a bell will inform YOU to move one person to their right. You will repeat your story with 10 different students, finishing at approximately 11:00 a.m.
11:00 – 11:05 a.m. Please find your name tag, placed on a chair located on the outskirts of the gym.
11:05 – 11:30 a.m. QUESTION PERIOD. Sit at your designated place to be available for questions. This is an opportunity for any student to learn from your diverse experiences by posing additional questions or who did not get to visit with you during the speed dating component.
11:30 a.m. – 12:15 p.m. Lunch is provided in the gym.
5. Our amazing Head Caretaker Cam and team set up all the chairs ( we had to order chairs from downtown ) in gym the way we thought might work. ( I drew him a bad diagram, but he set things up the way he knew would work and I totally knew he would do it perfectly and of course he did)
6.Pam ordered lunch and helped decorate for all our guests. She also made all the name tags and signs. She is outstanding!
7. Student tour guides had to sign up in Student Services.
8. Students wanting to attend the event had to sign up in Student Services as well.
9. Erin ( my amazing sidekick counsellor ) figured out how to use the timer so that it rotated automatically , and used an iPad to project it on the screen in the gym. You can see it in the video. Our Principal Neil used the mic. to give our presenters a 20 sec. warning when their time would be up to move on to the next student.
10. Our Caretaker Cam also had coat racks set up for all guests. He is so smart, I would have never thought about that detail.
11. Our Art teacher provided us with some great student Art to decorate our gym.
12. Our Career Practitioner had Career Booklets and websites available for our students.
13. Krystyna, our Admin. Assistant made posters to put up around the school.
14. Our Vice Principal Ralene helped with all the details of putting up signs and clean up etc.
15. Our Lisa from Student Services checked off all the students names and greeted students as they arrived at the gym doors.
16. Erin, Neil and I greeted and talked to all the guests as they arrived.
Many hands really do make for light work. I really am so grateful to all for the help in getting ready for this event. I am also grateful to our Phys. Ed department for giving up their space ( we did need to find a date that would work to book the space to hold this event ).
I loved this day and I know students and participants did as well. Here is a Career Speed Dating Haiku Deck that I made which enabled me make the iMovie that I made from my phone (that you can see above on YouTube) . It is important to share what we did with staff and students who were unable to come , so that next time they too can participate. As well I always like to share any ideas with my fellow School Counsellors so that they too can use the idea if they like it and I hope you do because it had such a positive impact on students and presenters . One of the many benefits of this day is that participants shared their winning approach to work and life. The participants got to meet other parents in our community as well as network and make a difference for students. It was an amazing day one which we will repeat for sure. Will we make changes for next time? Yes, of course there are a few things . We will meet as a team to discuss some minor tweaks that could make the day even better. We will also send out a feedback form for participants and incorporate their thoughts and ideas.
Are you now ready for your own Career Speed Datingevent? I hope so ! Enjoy!
Here is a list of the Careers that were represented:
Lab administrative assistant Computer Science Department U of C
Professor at the Computer Science Department U of C
Chartered Accountant – Talisman Energy
DIRECTOR OF REAL ESTATE AND PROCUREMENT
CHRP, Sr. Human Resources Consultant; MillerNet HR Solutions
Owner/operater Insurance and Financial Services Agency
Speech-language Pathologist
Entrepreneur or a socialpreneur
Police Officer
Director and Talisman Energy Chair of Environmental Sustainability Institute for Environmental Sustainability
PWC | Director, Consulting & Deals
Chemical Engineer
Partner, BD&P Law Firm
Human Resources-Fluor Canada
Communications Specialist
Chemical Engineer
U of C Student
JVR Landscape, Landscape Industry Certified Manager and Technician
Sr. Counsel – Legal Dept. – Husky Energy
Crown Prosecutor – Specialized Prosecutions – Organized Crime Unit
You have them , I have had them. You know that student that you had no idea you had such an impact on, but they let you know years later. Sometimes 36 years later as I did two years ago. A young man came into the office at the High School I was working in at the time. He wanted to see me to tell me how I had influenced his life. He had googled me and tracked me down because he wanted to tell me his story . I am grateful he did as I would have never known that I had affected his life in the way he let me know I had.
Counsellor Talk : Creative Collaborative Connections 