As Valentine’s Day approaches we often ramp up our intentional thoughts to gift someone we love something special. I want to point out one of my all-time favourite quotes,

The Smallest Good Deed Is Better Than The Grandest Good Intention

J Burroughs

I’ve discovered that the most memorable moments are often born from the tiniest acts of kindness and I try my hardest to do them as often as I can not just on Valentine’s Day. A simple smile or “thank you” can brighten someone’s day, and a small favor can create a ripple effect of positivity.

One instance of a small gesture that stands out for me is when a student told me I had saved her life. I did not know the student, but she said I smiled at her every day in the hallway, and if not for that she was thinking about ending her life. The gesture was small, but the impact was immeasurable and I have never forgotten the moment she shared her story with me. It made me look at myself and what I do. As a result, I try as often as I can to do one small thing that I hope makes a difference for another human being.

Waiting for the perfect moment to do some grand gesture might never arrive. So start now … start today. Tell someone the difference they make in your life. You can send them a digital reminder.

Here are a few things to keep in mind about relationships that might help you based on John Gottman’s approach:

1. The Magic Ratio:
   • Dr. Gottman talks about the importance of a 5:1 positive-to-negative interaction ratio. Are you practicing this interaction in all your relationships?
2. Emotional Bank Account:
   • Think of your connections like a bank account, says Dr. Gottman. Regular deposits of emotional support build strong foundations. When and how often are you making deposits?
3. The Four Horsemen:
   • Watch out for criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, warns Dr. Gottman. How are you paying attention to these in your relationships?

1. Turning Towards Bids:
   • Bids for connection are like little invitations to intimacy. Respond positively to these bids. How often are you making these bids?
2. The Love Map:
   • Dr. Gottman encourages building a detailed “love map” of your partner. Knowing your partner’s world intimately fosters a deep connection. Have you made a love map?
3. Repair Attempts:
   • In every relationship, hiccups happen. Repair attempts are the remedy. Take time to apologize, make amends, and keep the connection intact. Who do you need to make repairs with today?
4. Nurturing Fondness and Admiration:
   • Admire your partner’s or friends’ qualities; express fondness, Dr. Gottman advises. It’s like watering a plant; love in all relationships blossoms with care and attention. Who can you express fondness with today?
5. Dreams Within Conflict:
   • Even conflicts have dreams and aspirations buried within, says Dr. Gottman. Unearth those dreams together for a richer understanding.
6. Shared Meaning:
   • Relationships thrive on shared rituals and meanings. Create rituals in your life that matter to you and those you love.
7. Small Moments, Big Impact:
   • I agree with Dr. Gottman, that small moments matter the most. Cherish the everyday connections; they make a difference for you and those you care about. Check out The Small Things Often Podcast.

So go ahead not just in your love relationships, but in your day-to-day connections with people take the time to find ways to do a small good deed. You will be glad you did.

• Leave an extra tip.
• Tell the manager their employee is doing a great job.
• Buy a lotto ticket for someone for no reason.
• Send a message, postcard, or letter telling someone how much you appreciate them.
• Offer to help an elderly person do something.
• Spend more time with those you love.

Live More … Laugh More …Love More … Be More intentional in your small deeds starting today.