School Counsellors are trained professionals who understand child development, often with Masters degrees in Counselling or more, who partake in ongoing professional development and extensive mental health training . They know school culture and how the education system works, making them readily able to help youth in an effective manner.
Often the first place students present any concerns are in schools because that is where they spend so much time. The educators get to know students well building trusting relationships. School Counsellors have the whole child in mind with access to a comprehensive background regarding the students history in school, so are often able to make decisions collaboratively in the best interest of students.
If you are a new teacher and have never accessed your School Counsellor , please do so. They are there to help you help the student. When all work together to help our youth it is more likely to make a difference in the life of a child. Now more than ever we must do all we can together to help.
Living through a pandemic is different for each of us. Your feelings are neither right nor wrong. They just are. It’s ok to talk about and share your feelings. Acknowledging your feelings is essential to your well being. Below are a few feelings that you may be able to relate to. It’s not all doom or gloom.
How you may be feeling:
Adaptable You feel that you can roll with whatever happens.
Anxious, afraid, or feeling a bit of panic that this fall may cause an increase in infections. Or that someone you care about may now be put in harm’s way when they weren’t before.
Angry or feeling frustrated that some people may not be following the pandemic health rules. Or that the measures in place aren’t enough. Or that you have to look after so many people, your children, your parents, your siblings, others and you may have to work too. Where is the time for you?
Brave You know that you have what it takes to deal with a crisis.
Courageous doesn’t mean you aren’t afraid, but that you have the capacity to see clearly and self soothe. It takes courage to be with things the way they are. You feel courage.
Conflicted You want to socialize more, but feel that you should still stay at home.
Confident that you have the coping skills to assist you during this time.
Distrustful of how the government is handling all the guidelines and rules or how things are being portrayed in the media.
Determined to live in the present and move forward towards your goals.
Grief for a multitude of reasons.
Grateful for so many small things.
Happy you are surrounded by positive people either virtually or face to face.
Hopeful You acknowledge that the virus is serious, but you will get through this pandemic in the best way possible.
Loved by your family. So happy you have them to support you.
Powerless like you don’t have any control or say in anything that’s happening.
Protective of your routine you do not want to deal with any more change or uncertainty.
Positive You get up every day and make the best of your life in a pandemic.
Reluctant to rearrange events like celebrations, get-togethers, parties that couldn’t happen during the pandemic
Realistic You know that this pandemic isn’t easy, but feel self-assured you have what it takes to get through it.
Uneasy about some of your relationships that have changed during the pandemic.
Useful You feel like you have been able to contribute in a positive way during this pandemic.
Stigmatized or that others may avoid you You may have already had coronavirus, or others think what you do makes you more likely to spread the virus.
Secure and safe You know people are around you that support and help you.
Stressed about a lot of things like …
Under pressure to return to school/work when you can’t, or when you feel it’s not safe to.
Unsupported You may be asked to go back to school/work without having access to things like personal protective equipment (PPE), or feelings of safety and security.
Understood You have people who listen to your concerns.
Valued Most people respect how you are dealing with the pandemic.
What other feelings are you feeling ? Acknowledge them and share with a trusted confidant. You can also check out some strategies to help here.
Your feelings are important. Each child, teen and adult will react differently based on numerous factors. My hope is that no matter what happens you have the supports and coping skills to overcome whatever challenges come your way, it starts with acknowledging your true feelings.
I love lacrosse! Thanks to my past team mates Jane Walsh and Elaine McMullin Descoteaux for inviting me to do a keynote for female national box lacrosse championship players in 2017. It was an opportunity for me to give back and share my love of the sport. Lacrosse always has been my most favourite sport of the many that I have played.
I started playing lacrosse around 47 years ago (yes, females played lacrosse back then) in Shannon Park Wallis Heights with coaches Cliff Friesen and Donald Koharski. I have so many great memories of those days, We were lucky enough to play lacrosse in Ontario ,the CNE and in Vancouver, We went on to win the NS championships in 1973, so many fun memories.
Today I am a registered Psychologist, I was an educator for the past 40 years and I retired as a School Counsellor in a self- directed High School in Calgary three years ago this June.
None of that would have been possible without lacrosse. In 1976 I was awarded a lacrosse Scholarship from Canada Fitness and Amateur Sport . It paid for most of my University Education. I am so, so grateful for that today!
Lacrosse shaped my future.
I stopped playing lacrosse a year ago, but would play drop in if it were still on today. I joined again as an adult in 2008 and loved every moment. I am 61 years old and I played for the Calgary Women’s Master Lacrosse league until I was 60. I can’t run …. but boy can I shoot Tracy Klusky past captain of the Calgary Roughnecks once told me I had golden hands! I’m also really good at being a cherry picker …
Here is a video I put together a while back about the love of the game.
I hope all young lacrosse players think about these 5 things
Find your purpose
Play for the love of the sport , play for a lifetime
Be Passionate
Persevere
Pay it Forward
Find your purpose and be the leader you can be. You can be a leader on and off the floor. I would like to encourage young women worldwide to play this great sport!!!! Not only young women, but moms too. Yes, and dad’s too.
If there isn’t a team where you live START ONE . If there isn’t a scholarship to be found CREATE ONE or find someone who can. We live in a world where social media CAN be used for good SO DO IT be a good digital citizen and connect with others who want the best for young women in sports.
Did you know that 44% of girls between the ages of 3-17 don’t participate in sports? 84% of adult women don’t participate in sports at all. WE CAN CHANGE that stat TODAY. For those of you playing, you are the lucky ones because you get to play the greatest game on earth. So get out there PROMOTE this great game. YOU CAN BE A LEADER. According to Anita Franklin of the IOC “When a young woman athlete triumphs, she has become a role model for her family, her community and even her country” I KNOW YOU CAN TOO!
PLAY FOR THE LOVE OF THE SPORT and do it lifelong IF I CAN … YOU CAN TOO! Play fair , play respectfully and play hard.
BE PASSIONATE and always be kind. Life will give you back tenfold what you have given out.Passionate people according to research are happier and experience greater well being. My passions have afforded me great friendships, lifelong friendships that I treasure to this day. We have had so much fun together because of sport.
PERSEVERE when you persevere in sports and in life you get back up and keep going. Life throws us all challenges. We are all going to make mistakes and that’s OKthat is the way we learn. Lacrosse taught me to never give up!
PAY IT FORWARD you will learn many lessons through lacrosse. You can pay it forward by helping others. Maybe you will coach or volunteer in some capacity or maybe you will find small ways to give back, but make sure you just do it!
ONE PERSON CAN INDEED MAKE A PROFOUND DIFFERENCE that person could be YOU.
OUR NATIONAL SUMMER SPORT IS THE BEST.
I hope you as young women who play lacrosse go out there and make a difference not just in lacrosse, but in life and remember all the things that lacrosse has given you.! Sports helped me become a better human being and i hope some of you who read this will find that sports does that for you too be it lacrosse or any other sport, many of which I have loved and played like lacrosse, ringette, hockey, basketball, volleyball, baseball, and my latest love pickleball.
I hope you just play … it’s great for your overall well being. and it’s just plain fun!
Choose ONE of the following tips. You may want to post it on your mirror at home or pin it to your desktop and remind yourself of what you need during this time.
Just for Today I will acknowledge that we are all grieving the world as we once knew it. I will be compassionate with myself and my students.
Just for Today I will take the necessary actions so that I don’t burn out during Covid 19. I will take breaks and put things on pause when I need to.
Just for Today I will be grateful I am an educator who loves and cares for youth.
Just for Today I will remember that relationships are a key factor for academics to occur especially as I move online.
Just for Today I will trust the process . If I don’t get exactly how to use the tech at this time that is more than OK.
Just for Today I will acknowledge that I need time and space for myself and my family, I will take time to care for my own well being and theirs.
Just for Today I will share a just for today , a positive quote or thought with my students.
Just for Today I will not speak negatively about myself, treating myself empathically focusing on what I do know, not on what I don’t.
Just for Today I will focus on doing my best and let go of the rest, acknowledging that I care about all of my students.
Just for Today I will make sure that I take time to have a proper lunch and take breaks.
Just for Today I will find ways to decrease my workload.
Just for Today I will connect with a colleague and collaborate knowing this will lighten some of my load.
Just for Today I will focus on my strengths and not fall into the trap of comparing myself to others .
14. Just for Today I will not put 20 things on my to do list. I will tackle one concern at a time.
Just for Today I will centremyself while helping students find ways to centre themselves.
Just for Today I choose the path of being there for a child.
Just for Today I will acknowledge that I cannot be everything to everyone.
Just for Today I will accept support from others.
Just for Today I will find a way to celebrate student success.
Just for Today I will film a short message to check in with my students.
Just for today I will avoid overthinking by attempting to stay in the moment.
Just for Today I will remember that it’s okay not to feel okay.
Just for Today I will collaborate with my team to share resources.
Just for Today I will send a message of thanks to a member of my school community.
Just for Today I will turn my computer off at the end of office hours.
Want to check out previous posts for students. You can find them here.
What is your Just for Today Tip? Please share in the comments. Erin and I would love to hear your ideas.
I hear it all too often, youth saying they have anxiety when what they really mean is that they are feeling anxious. If you listen to the news you would believe that our youth are in crisis . The data would suggest otherwise 1 in 5 Canadians will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime . It’s true and needs to be addressed and has been for the past 20 or so years. The stats have not changed. What’s also true is that 4 out of every 5 Canadians don’t have a mental health disorder and it’s up to us to teach the difference between a disorder and everyday feelings that we all have. Some may need the assistance of a professional to understand the difference. Your School Counsellor is a good place to start. They are trained professionals who understand the difference and can assist in finding supports.
For the 1 in 5 youth that will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime we need to assist them in getting all the supports necessary. For the youth that are experiencing distress over a multitude of concerns we must also listen and support them , teaching them how to cope with life’s challenges and concerns. Supporting youth with their feelings helps us understand what steps to take next. Their feelings are important , so we must not dismiss them.
Words do matter and helping our youth become literate when it comes to mental health can have a positive impact. If you need resources and ideas on how to make that happen check out teenmentalhealth.org. You can also find more information on anxiety here and here.
If you are wondering whether a youth truly has an anxiety disorder, some waitful watching may be in order. Don’t be quick to jump to a diagnosis ( and a reminder that you must be qualified to do so ) even then waitful watching is a good idea.
Some questions to reflect on :
Frequency : How frequent are the anxious feelings? Once or more a day , once a week , once a year?
Duration: How long do the feelings last? A few minutes, hours , weeks , months?
Intensity: Does the youth avoid situations because they are too anxious to cope? Is the anxiety taking control of them instead of them controlling it? Are they having trouble coping with everyday life because of their anxiety?
Have they seen a medical doctor to rule out any other medical concerns?
Each day as a School Counsellor you have an opportunity to impact a child’s life in a way unlike others are able to do. Never ever lose sight of that. It might be a small action that touches a child’s heart and makes a difference for a lifetime. You have the time to truly listen and understand what it is a child needs and how to help them in a way that can change their perceptions of themselves and the world around them. It is a gift you have been given to give away , so treasure the moments that are right there in front of you each day as you enter your school. You are there for a purpose.
You have them , I have had them. You know that student that you had no idea you had such an impact on, but they let you know years later. Sometimes 36 years later as I did two years ago. A young man came into the office at the High School I was working in at the time. He wanted to see me to tell me how I had influenced his life. He had googled me and tracked me down because he wanted to tell me his story . I am grateful he did as I would have never known that I had affected his life in the way he let me know I had.
I have been blessed with letters and notes from students who have told me they believed I had saved their life. It is an honour and privilege that they believe something I said or did had impacted them in such a positive way. More often than not we don’t get these notes, calls or letters and we may not know the impact we have had on students. Not because we did not , but because the person may not have put their thoughts to words for whatever reason.
A couple of days ago one of my best friends who is also a retired School Counsellor , got one of those notes from a student whom she had known 18 years ago. The note was from a young woman reporting she was now happily married with two children , She told my friend that she was the reason she was alive, happy and successful today. She let her know it was World Suicide Prevention Day and that maybe my friend would like to know the impact she had on her life when she was in High School.
The woman had tracked my friend down on Facebook and felt compelled to write her the beautiful moving, heartfelt note (I’m purposefully leaving out the details, but trust me we both cried a lot reading it) . Of course she had no idea that particular student felt that way. So what a gift it was to receive a note like this. It is truly why we do what we do choosing to be in education.
If one young person is impacted in this way by what we have said or done, then our years of dedication to a career we have loved is all worth while. We both agreed that we were so fortunate to work in schools with amazing young people and feel truly blessed to have had a career we both were passionate about.
So many still do not fully understand what a School Counsellor does behind closed doors, but know and trust that you need to keep doing what you are doing as a School Counselor wherever you are in the world. You can never know the impact you can have. Small gestures and words can matter.
The effect you have as a School Counsellor is not always measurable , but that does not matter. What you say and do everyday does.
I am grateful to work for a district that supports School Counsellors and School Counselling . Today I get the honour of presenting to my colleagues who make a difference every day. Thanks for all you do! You can find the link to my slide deck here.
Canva is an amazing tool for School Counsellors. You are often the one to help organizes special events, make posters that are relevant to School Counselling , share ideas etc. Canva can help you create all the resources you need.
Twitter is one of the best resources there is for School Counsellors . You can connect with and share resources with other School Counsellors worldwide. Access is immediate and you never know what great connections you can make that help you be better at what you do. You can follow the ATA of School Counsellors and the president of the Council @ehordyskiluong. Check out #scchat here .
Teacher Pay Teachers is an inexpensive wonderful resource for School Counsellors. I did not always support this resource as I felt educators needed to share freely, but now I understand what hard work goes into making these resources and really they are very inexpensive for the work being done. School Counsellors why reinvent the wheel when it is already invented? Check it out on TPT .
Haiku Deck : This is and always has been my favourite app to use for so many reasons. School Counsellors Put A Positive Spin On Your Day .
APPS: There are so many apps that can make a School Counsellors life easier. Here are just a few.
RESOURCES: There are so many great resources and people are the best resource so get connected and share share share. School Counsellor Online Professional Exchange is a resource that you won’t want to miss thanks @ecmmason for creating it! SCOPE
Blogging: There are so many fantastic School Counsellor Blogs. Each one is different ,but most have tips and resources you can use tomorrow. Creating your own blog can help other School Counsellors and students
How do we instill an insatiable desire to learn and live life to the fullest while teaching students to self regulate when it comes to cell phone use?
Self – regulation is the process that the brain goes through that gives us the ability to control our behaviors and emotions in response to a particular situation. It’s having the skill to calm ourselves down when upset or in distress.
In this day and age all of us need to monitor how and why we use our cell phones. According to Dr. Stuart Shanker self -regulation is as much about regulating positive emotions as it is about down regulating negative emotions . Only when we are regulated can we self – regulate.
As adults we need to model self – regulation. There are several ways we attempt to soothe ourselves. some good , some not so good. The coping skills we use can help us or hurt us. If we want to help others then we need to model positive cell phone use and be able to share with others what we do and how we do it.
Self–evaluation is pivotal. Evaluate your thoughts , feelings and actions when it comes to your cell phone use
• Be open … ask yourself is my cell phone use helping or hurting me or others?
Ask yourself …
Does my cell phone use lift me up or tear me down?
Is there ways to change my use of my cell phone so that I can feel better about myself?
Am I on my phone too much ? Do others notice and think I should change?
Is using my cell phone too much stressing me out? If so how can I restore my energy? What do I need to do differently?
Am I getting enough sleep , exercise , and nutrition ? Acknowledge what you need to do to change.
Do I have a positive self –esteem? Am I using my phone because I know it will help me or hurt me?
Are my relationships in tact? Do I find many opportunities to connect F2F?
Am I more anxious , happy or sad because of my cell phone use?
Do I really need to use your phone right now or can it wait till later?
Am I on track with what I need to do or is my cell phone just a distraction for me right now?
Am I being mindful of what I really need to do ? Am I prioritizing what is truly important in my life or am I using my cell phone as an escape?
How to self – regulate when it comes to phone use:
• Try asking your friends and family for tips. What works for them?
Try some of these tips.
• Keep phone on vibrate instead of listening to the constant ping of the phone. I have my phone on vibrate 99% of the time.
• Turn phone face down when not using it so you don’t look at it all the time.
• Put your phone somewhere not easily available when eating meals or at times that you know you need a break.
• Set times that you will use your phone and times you won’t ( I make it my rule that I never take my phone out while eating a meal or talking with someone) .
• Get involved … have a number of interests. It’s hard to use your cell phone while playing hockey or dancing or singing or a zillion of the other great things you can get involved in.
• Put your phone away at night and use an alarm clock instead so you can get a good nights sleep away from your phone.
Use Self- talk
• I do not need to be on my cell phone right now, it is not helpful.
• I can wait till later to use my cell phone because I need to be present to what is happening right now in this moment.
• I am proud of myself and the positive ways I use my cell phone
Journalling
• If cell phone use has become a concern … journal what is happening for you.
• Journal all the positive ways you use your cell phone.
Meta moment
• Do you pause between being triggered and responding by being on your phone? Ask yourself is connecting leading to you feeling happy, sad, validated or invalidated, included or excluded?
• Ask yourself : How can I feel connected and close to others ? Is online the best way to do this at this time?
Positive Coping Strategies
• Make a list of yours and share it with your family and friends.
Stages of Change
• Ask yourself and be honest What stage of change am I in ? Ask yourself what is holding me back or moving me forward when it comes to my cell phone use ?
• Ask yourself … do I need help to get to where I want to go? If so your School Counsellor, Psychologist or a therapist can help you.
Reach Out
• To friends, teachers, your family, a School Counsellor . We all need a little support in order to self – regulate when it comes to our cell phone use. It is a strength to ask for help.
Maybe you need a little digital detox . It is more than ok to take a break from your phone. You decide what works best for you now that you have taken an honest look at yourself.
Once you have learned ways to help yourself , you maybe able to assist others with their technology use as well. Recognize that you are not perfect and will need to self evaluate often … I know I do.
So grow, learn and live the best possible life you can recognizing that technology has the power to help you or hurt you. What you do is up to you. I love my phone and I’m sure you do too. So let’s see if we can self-regulate to make ourselves and the world a better place. Maybe someday we’ll meet face to face and talk about how we did.
I could not be prouder to volunteer with the Youth Champion Initiative . What the Sheldon Kennedy Child Advocacy Centre , Youth Smarts Calgary and Canadian Mental Health do to support our youth is inspiring and so extremely important. I love that I am able to help in a tiny way . Kim Campbell and Ashley Lamantia lead the way to help youth day in and day out. Thanks for all you do all year-long.
What an incredible way to wrap-up our year together! Today @CMHACalgary's YouthSMART and @skcac celebrated the accomplishments of our outstanding #youthchampionsyyc senior high teams, for their hard work promoting mental health and belonging in #yyc and area schools! https://t.co/7ojj7QTHWv
The real reason I volunteer for this initiative is that if I can help in some small way to promote the work that Sheldon Kennedy has already done and is doing to make a difference for youth, especially when it comes to child abuse and sexual abuse, then I too can feel like I have contributed . I can be very proud to stand up and say I have done my very small part to open the door to this discussion and be a part of the incredible work already being done. I can celebrate students and staff who also want to make a difference when it comes to child advocacy.
According to the SKCAC in 2008 there were 14,403 substantiated cases of child abuse in Alberta. 7091 infants , youth and children were seen at the centre and 124 new cases are assessed each month.
Mental health and trauma affect way too many of our students , so collaborating with people who are continuing to have an impact makes me feel I have contributed to a society that cares about the mental health and the wellbeing of our youth and that is something for me that is so worthy of doing!
You have them , I have had them. You know that student that you had no idea you had such an impact on, but they let you know years later. Sometimes 36 years later as I did two years ago. A young man came into the office at the High School I was working in at the time. He wanted to see me to tell me how I had influenced his life. He had googled me and tracked me down because he wanted to tell me his story . I am grateful he did as I would have never known that I had affected his life in the way he let me know I had.
How do we instill an insatiable desire to learn and live life to the fullest while teaching students to self regulate when it comes to cell phone use?
• If cell phone use has become a concern … journal what is happening for you.
Once you have learned ways to help yourself , you maybe able to assist others with their technology use as well. Recognize that you are not perfect and will need to self evaluate often … I know I do.
Counsellor Talk : Creative Collaborative Connections 