Tag: anxiety

Performance Anxiety

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We feel so lucky to work with talented youth, like the Young Canadians of the Calgary Stampede. Their dedication and creativity are awe-inspiring, and we’re grateful for the opportunity to share their tips and experiences with you!

Performance anxiety is a personal experience that can range from minor jitters to overwhelming nerves. Here are some ideas we believe can help:

  1. Confront Negativity: Recognize and address any negative thoughts or perceptions about performing. Accept the need for change and work on these one at a time.
  2. Cultivate Confidence: Believe in your unique gift and your purpose in performing. Slow, deep breathing, like square breathing, can help keep you centered.
  3. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Shift your inner dialogue from “I can’t” to “I can.”
  4. Stay Engaged: Focus on the music or your performance rather than potential mistakes.
  5. Embrace Excitement: A mindset of excitement can actually enhance your performance. Let those butterflies work for you!
  6. Progress Takes Time: Remember the 10,000-hour rule. It takes time to master your craft, so be patient and kind to yourself.
  7. Rest Well: Prioritize rest before and during performances. It makes a significant difference.
  8. Stay Positive: Keep a hopeful mindset.
  9. Visualize Success: See yourself as a star performing flawlessly.
  10. Be Authentic: Journal your fears and stay true to yourself.
  11. Stick to Routines: Consistency can offer comfort and help ease anxiety.
  12. Normalize Anxiety: You’re not alone. Chat with a friend to share strategies and support.
  13. Embrace Imperfection: Perfection isn’t the goal—focus on your growth and journey.
  14. Practice in Front of Trusted People: This can help you build confidence and comfort.
  15. Quiet Your Mind: Find techniques to help you stay present in the moment.
  16. Shift Your Focus: Concentrate on the impact you can make for your audience instead of focusing on your nerves.
  17. Ditch “Shoulds”: Replace pressure with calming and reassuring thoughts.
  18. Reframe Your Mindset: Swap self-doubt with confidence-boosting affirmations.
  19. Mindset Matters: Remember, performance anxiety can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Challenge the “what ifs” and focus on the positives.
  20. Let Go of the Spotlight Effect: Realize that people may not be watching you as closely as you think.
  21. Change Your “What-Ifs”: Transform negative “what-ifs” into empowering “what-ifs.”

The Young Canadians offered a treasure trove of advice, such as:

  • Always be Positive, Affirmations Help, Anxiety is Really Excitement, Ask For Help, Address what’s making you stressed, Agree with your body, Assertive mindset, Act Kind.
  • Be Prepared, Breathe, Be Brave, Be The Best Version Of Yourself.
  • Calm Your Nerves, Confidence, Concentrate, Care for Yourself.
  • Don’t be Negative, Deep Breaths, Determination, Demolish Those Negative Thoughts.
  • Express Your Emotions, Eat Healthy, Engage Your Mind.
  • Fight Your Demons, Faith, Find A Distraction, Friends are There For You, Fear is OK, Finish What You Started.
  • Give It Your All, Get a Friend, Go For It! Growth Mindset.
  • Have a Calming Ritual, Have Fun! Hug a Friend, Hydrate.
  • Ignite Your Passion, Include Each Other, I Can Control Myself, Invest in Relationships, Imagine Success, Immerse Yourself, Inspire Others.
  • Just Be “John”, Just Do Your Best.
  • Kindness To Others, Keep Dancing, Singing, Playing, Keep Relaxing, Keep Focused.
  • Live, Love, Laugh, Love yourself, Lead The Way, Leave Anxiety Behind, Left Brain Shut-off.
  • Make Sure You Have Your Shoes, Meditate.
  • Never Back Down, No Fear: “The Young Canadians Are Here!” No over-thinking!
  • Optimistic Outlook, Open Mind.
  • Push Your Limits and Patience, Picture Everyone As People You Love, Prepare To Perform, Positive Mind and Thoughts.
  • Quit Quitting, Quiet Space, Quiz Yourself on Choreo
  • Respect Yourself and Others, Relax.
  • Sing, Dance, Play Your Heart Out, Snack so you won’t be Hangry! Shake it Off!, Sleep Well.
  • Trust Yourself, Trust The Process, Take A Walk, Talk To Someone You Trust, Take a Hot Minute.
  • U-have to Calm Down, U are Special, Use Tips and Tricks, U can do it! Uplift Each Other.
  • Victory is Yours, Voice Your Emotions, Veto Bad Thoughts.
  • We Love You, Work, Walk It Out, Warm Up.
  •  X-hale, X out Your Stress, X out Negative Thoughts.
  • You Got This, You Are Good Enough, YOLO Mindset.
  • Zero Fear, Get Your ZZZs (sleep), Zen Time, Zero Regrets.

Remember, when it comes to performance anxiety, you’ve got the tools! Believe in yourself and your abilities. Reach out if it becomes too tough. The next time you perform, use the tips that work for you to transform your own anxiety into excitement changing performance anxiety into a friend rather than a foe!

Helen MacKinnon and Susan Spellman Cann

Who Doesn’t Need A Counselling Skills Toolbox?

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We all have our unique paths to walk, and sometimes, we could use a little help. That’s where Counsellor Talk can step in, providing the tools to navigate your emotions and experiences and help you to understand yourself better.

Being open to counselling as a way to transform your life is a good idea and we have loved helping those that have crossed our paths over the years.

Counsellor Talk Is written with counsellors in mind. However, teachers and those working with youth or adults can utilize the ideas too. Several handouts will work with people at every age level. There is no shortage of ideas to get those counselling ideas flowing to help others.

Who doesn’t need a counselling skills toolbox? A few ideas you can put in your toolbox are:

Just for Today

Start each day in a positive way. Accept yourself exactly as you are, knowing that you are enough.

When we celebrate our shared humanity and think of ways to help not only ourselves but find ways to help others and make the world a better place, we heal. All of us can do anything just for today.

Life is Better When…

We focus on gratitude rather than grievances. We treat ourselves with the same compassion and care that we give to others. So let go, embrace your flaws, and listen to the whispers of our intuition guiding you on your journey.

Challenge Yourself to…

Be more, do more, live more. Try something new, and learn to play more. Remember, by focusing on your strengths, you gain personal power. By reframing your thoughts, your worldview can change. By listening with an open mind and an open heart, you learn more.

Something You Might Need to Hear Today

You matter. You are a unique and valuable individual, worthy of love, respect, and acceptance. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon, you are continuously evolving and adapting to change.

Something I Need to Understand

Feelings aren’t facts. They are neither right nor wrong; they just are. Self-awareness is the first step towards personal growth. Exploring your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors can help you better understand yourself and your needs. Challenging negative thought patterns and cultivating positive affirmations can lead to a more positive outlook on life.

Remember, you are meant to be here; you have a purpose.

Well-being Tip

Treat yourself right; it’s time for a spa day so go ahead and take one. An economical version, relax in a bubble bath and let your worries unwind. Make time to have friends over for dinner. Enjoy the moments, make memories, and bring more joy into your day.

Rediscover simple pleasures and leave your phone behind. Find solace in simplicity; it’s your special place.

Final Thoughts

If you don’t like your story, rewrite a new chapter. Create the life you desire. Strive to thrive rather than just survive and shower yourself with self-love.

As Ronna Jevne says, “Hope is the small voice in our heart that says yes to life.” As your journey continues, remember, that you are not alone. Counsellor Talk, hopes you connect and collaborate with others every step of the way.

For more insights and tips, you can check out our book.

Counsellor Talk : Connecting Through Creative Counselling Techniques

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It has been a process, to say the least in creating this book, but we are so happy it is here. So much learning as we did not hire anyone to help us. We look forward to sharing Counsellor Talk with you and are so grateful for all the input from others.

We believe our book is real and relatable, and we hope it will be truly inspiring. We invite you to explore a multitude of ideas that we hope will get your creative juices flowing.

Get ready to embark on a journey where we will share several tips, tools, and techniques to empower you in finding your path, and discovering what works best for you and your clients.

As psychologists, we understand the power of connection. The therapeutic alliance is the foundation upon which healing is built, the glue that binds us together in our shared humanity. In “Counsellor Talk,” we’re offering you the tools to deepen those connections, breathe new life into your practice, and embark on a journey where healing isn’t just a destination. You will use many of the ideas as jumping-off points to meet the needs of your particular clientele.

So, grab your favorite mug, brew a cup of your preferred beverage, (we prefer a cup of calming tea), and settle in. Let’s explore together, heart to heart. We hope you will rediscover the magic of counselling, not as a clinical exercise, but as an art— a place where ideas flow to meet the needs of those entrusted to your care. 

Throughout “Counsellor Talk,” you’ll find practical tips, creative exercises, handouts, and ways to integrate technology into your practice. From mindfulness techniques to expressive tools via the arts, from narrative therapy to using technological tools —we’re here to help you expand your toolkit, inspire you to think outside the box and embolden you to make a real difference in the lives of those you serve.

 “Counsellor Talk” isn’t just about the nuts and bolts of counselling—it’s about the heart and soul behind the practice. It’s about rediscovering the joy in your work and rekindling the passion for helping others which is the first thing that drew you to this field.

What inspired us to write “Counsellor Talk” was you—the counsellors, the school counsellors, the therapists, and the healers who devote their lives to helping others. This book has been over 30 years in the making, but life got in the way. So here we are finally sharing some of our ideas and inspiration with you by never giving up our goal and publishing our first book. The journey continues as we go on the road to support you with in-depth workshops based on our book Counsellor Talk.

As two psychologists with over 60 years of combined counselling experience, we wish to inspire the next generation of counsellors as well as rejuvenate those seasoned professionals.

In writing this book we hope to pass on our passion and love of counselling. It has been the best part of our professional lives.

Is Anxiety The Same As An Anxiety Disorder?

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I hear it all too often, youth saying they have anxiety when what they really mean is that they are feeling anxious. If you listen to the news you would believe that our youth are in crisis . The data would suggest otherwise 1 in 5 Canadians will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime . It’s true and needs to be addressed and has been for the past 20 or so years. The stats have not changed. What’s also true is that 4 out of every 5 Canadians don’t have a mental health disorder and it’s up to us to teach the difference between a disorder and everyday feelings that we all have. Some may need the assistance of a professional to understand the difference. Your School Counsellor is a good place to start. They are trained professionals who understand the difference and can assist in finding supports.

For the 1 in 5 youth that will experience a mental health disorder in their lifetime we need to assist them in getting all the supports necessary. For the youth that are experiencing distress over a multitude of concerns we must also listen and support them , teaching them how to cope with life’s challenges and concerns. Supporting youth with their feelings helps us understand what steps to take next. Their feelings are important , so we must not dismiss them.

Words do matter and helping our youth become literate when it comes to mental health can have a positive impact. If you need resources and ideas on how to make that happen check out teenmentalhealth.org. You can also find more information on anxiety here and here.

If you are wondering whether a youth truly has an anxiety disorder, some waitful watching may be in order. Don’t be quick to jump to a diagnosis ( and a reminder that you must be qualified to do so ) even then waitful watching is a good idea.

Some questions to reflect on :

Frequency : How frequent are the anxious feelings? Once or more a day , once a week , once a year?

Duration: How long do the feelings last? A few minutes, hours , weeks , months?

Intensity: Does the youth avoid situations because they are too anxious to cope? Is the anxiety taking control of them instead of them controlling it? Are they having trouble coping with everyday life because of their anxiety?

Have they seen a medical doctor to rule out any other medical concerns?

Has the anxiety come up for no apparent reason?

What triggers if any have led to the anxiety?

Is the youth experiencing stress or anxiety ? What’s the difference?

If you are a School Counsellor you most likely will informally assess and refer for an actual assessment if anxiety is of major concern.

When in any doubt consult. consult, consult!

Let’s work together to help our youth become more literate and support them navigating life. For a great read I would recommend Saving Normal: An Insider’s Revolt against Out-of-Control Psychiatric Diagnosis, DSM-5, Big Pharma, and the Medicalization of Ordinary Life  by Psychiatrist Allen Francis.

10 Tips for Reducing Anxiety

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Copy of 10 Tips for reducing anxiety by Susan Spellman Cann

Anxiety is a topic we all want our students to have ideas and resources for.  I made an infographic for you to use and if you click on the link 10 Tips for reducing anxiety by Susan Spellman Cann . You  can open it and download for your use.

Put A Positive Spin On Your Day

Just in case you want an easier download for the link Put A Positive Spin On Your Day Click here.

Have any infographics or tips related to School Counselling please share!

Anxiety: Threat or Gift?

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A guest post by : S.Helen MacKinnon

Often I am asked the question, ” Why do so many kids today suffer from anxiety ?” There is no easy answer to this question but there are many more questions that we need to ask. In particular, “What is it that appears to be causing such an increase in child and adolescent anxiety? Is it related to social media?  Are we over pathologizing what may be normal reactions to stressful situations in our environment. According to Dr Stan Kutcher, a leading psychiatrist from Dalhousie University, “anxiety is a gift we have inherited from our ancestors to protect us from threat and to kick-start ambition; to fight it we have to face it.” In order to “face it” we need to  first of all understand what is happening and then respond to it in a manner which will allow us to maximize the outcome.

In other words we can use the anxiety or stress, to benefit us in our day-to-day functioning.  If we see it as a gift, we respond from a totally different  repertoire or mindset than if we see it as a threat. A gift is something positive, something we welcome, something that may make things easier for us, or at times may challenge us and help us grow. How can we work with our kids to help them understand and see anxiety as a gift? What are some strategies that will help them develop a different mindset?  Additionally, what part does social media play and are we, as parents, educators, and counsellors, contributing to the mindset of threat or gift? In my next guest post I will explore these very questions and discuss ways to unpack the gift of anxiety.