Category: Coping Skills

Your Mental Health Matters

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As we all navigate through life, it’s crucial to remember that our mental health matters just as much as our physical health. Despite the stigma that has surrounded mental health for many years, it’s important to break these barriers and openly discuss the importance of maintaining a healthy mind. Mental health literacy is crucial for all of us. Learn more so that we do not overdiagnose. With this in mind, let’s delve into the significance of mental health.

World Mental Health Day

Every year on October 10th, we observe World Mental Health Day, a day dedicated to raising awareness about mental health issues around the globe. This day provides us with an opportunity to spread knowledge about mental health, shattering the stigmas, misconceptions, and prejudices that unfortunately still exist in many societies.

The Importance of Mental Health

Our mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being, impacting how we think, feel, and act. It also plays a fundamental role in how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. Without positive mental health, it’s difficult to fully enjoy life and deal with its challenges.

Looking After Your Mental Health

There are many ways to look after your mental health. Each day is a new opportunity to take care of your mind. Remember to stay active, even if it just 15 minutes a day to start. Eat a balanced diet as often as possible. Maintain a regular sleep schedule, and take time each day to relax and do things that you love. Reach out to friends and family, talk about your feelings, and don’t be afraid to seek professional help. If you’re struggling. School Counsellors are always there to freely help you. They are trained mental health professionals.

Remember, It’s Okay Not to Be Okay

Lastly, remember that it’s okay not to be okay all the time. Everyone has good days and bad days, and it’s perfectly normal to feel down sometimes. What’s important is to recognise these feelings, accept them, and take steps to look after your mental health. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for help.

Conclusion

As we commemorate World Mental Health Day on October 10th, 2023, let’s not only raise awareness about mental health issues but also take active steps to prioritize our mental health and learn mental health literacy skills. Let’s strive to create a world where mental health is no longer stigmatized, but understood, accepted, and prioritized. Let’s treat people with the same dignity we treat someone with a physical illness.

Mastering The Connection: It’s All About Relationships

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Truly fulfilling relationships are not about wanting to change someone or about finding someone who is perfect and without flaws, we all have them. It’s about having the courage to be yourself allowing yourself to be seen and having your partner or your friend accept you for who you truly are. If we want to build deep connections with another person we need to be vulnerable and let them see the real us. Discovering our true selves can be a lifelong journey that requires continuous effort and introspection.

In all relationships, we will make mistakes and can even end up possibly hurting the other person. Our partner or friend is not supposed to meet all of our needs, that’s up to us to do so. Having the courage to recognize the times when we need support from someone else whether that be a friend or professional is important. It takes courage to reach out especially for those in an abusive relationship, but doing so could help to make better connections and healthier decisions.

Conflict is normal in any relationship, but if we communicate honestly and find ways to work through the challenges, building trust in one another, a healthy relationship can be the end result. One way we can do this is by letting our partner or friend know when we need a break and by not giving them the silent treatment or in other words as Gottman calls it stonewalling, which can be emotionally abusive. If you are looking to improve any relationship Gottman has great tips.

Emotional connections are important, however, if we are always looking at the needs of someone else and not paying attention to our own, or if we fall into unhealthy relationship patterns we need to look deeper into the why and make some changes.

In healthy relationships each partner is looking out for the other, recognizing that they need to make compromises and that life can sometimes get messy. It isn’t about a long life together that is miserable, it’s about a life together that has way more ups than downs. A life where you can say I love and care deeply about that other human being be it a friend or lover.

There may come a time when you ask yourself do I need to end this relationship? While not easy, it may be necessary. I love this thread by Dr. Nicola Pera on when to end a relationship. It is thoughtful and wise.

Deciding to end a relationship can be a difficult and complex process. Here are some questions to consider:

  1. How do you feel when you’re around this person? Do you feel energized and happy or drained and unhappy?
  2. Do you trust this person? Do you believe what they say or do you feel like they’re hiding something from you?
  3. Is this a one-sided relationship?
  4. Is your partner/friend unable or unwilling to change and meet your needs?
  5. Does your partner/friend consistently break promises or fail to live up to their commitments?
  6. Are you staying in the relationship because you’re afraid of being alone or because you genuinely want to be with this person?
  7. Are my interactions with this person way more positive than negative?
  8. Are you compromising your values or sacrificing your happiness for the sake of the relationship?
  9. Are you constantly questioning whether this is a healthy relationship?
  10. Do you like who you are in this relationship?

Ultimately, the decision to end a relationship is a personal one. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Considering these questions could possibly help you gain clarity and insight into whether ending the relationship is the right choice for you.

Letting go is never easy, and at times we all have to make the choice that is right for us. There have also been times when I have been open to new friendships along this journey of life. Friends who make me a better human being. Friends who make my world a better place by being in it. You know who you are. I am so grateful I remained open.

Healthy relationships are about mutual respect, trust, setting boundaries, love, acceptance and support. When we create foundations of trust and love that weather all the storms, relationships can be amazing.

I am grateful for all the incredible long-lasting relationships that have graced my life making me a better person along the way. I look forward to continuing to nurture and cultivate these connections for years to come. Mastering the connection, and having relationships that last a lifetime is not always easy, but it is worth all the time and effort that make it possible.

It’s OK to Say No

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Learning to say no can be challenging, but I respect when people admit they are just too busy or don’t feel like they can do something at this particular time in their life. I especially appreciate when people do not ignore your request, but actually get back to you by taking two minutes to say NO in an email or in person. When we take control over our own lives, set boundaries and say no, we feel better about who we are and stay true to our core values.

The next time someone asks you to do something don’t feel guilty, just respond with one of these choices :

  1. I’m honoured that you asked, but I can’t commit at this time.
  2. Thanks for reaching out and for the kind invitation, I appreciate the opportunity, but unfortunately, I am unable to at this time.
  3. Thank you for thinking of me, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline.
  4. That sounds so interesting, but I have to pass this time.
  5. I wish I could, but I have other commitments that I need to attend to.
  6. Thanks for the invitation, but it’s not possible for me right now.
  7. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to participate, but I appreciate the offer.
  8. I’m sorry, but I have to say no as I am overcommitted.
  9. Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m unable to accept this time.
  10. I’m sorry, but unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it.
  11. Thanks for considering me, but I’ll have to decline this time.
  12. I appreciate you thinking of me , but regretfully have to decline your offer. All the best.
  13. I appreciate the opportunity, but I won’t be able to take it on at this time.
  14. Grateful that you asked me, but unfortunately, I can’t at this time as I am over-committed.
  15. Appreciate the invitation, but I’m unable to at this time.
  16. With regret, I am unable to accept this intriguing invitation. My regards.
  17. At this time I am not adding anything to my work/tasks/projects as my family is the top priority.
  18. I appreciate your interest, but I can’t commit at this moment.
  19. Unfortunately, I have to say no, but thank you for reaching out.
  20. Thanks for thinking of me. I am swamped at the moment, so unfortunately I cannot commit.

I asked two people to do something in the past month and both said no. Although I would have preferred it if they said yes, I so appreciated their response and let them know that I respected their NO. Putting your own needs first is not selfish, people would rather hear a no and you be true to what you value. Being honest and upfront matters. So go ahead and say no and truly mean it. It’s OK.

Hoping and Coping: Volunteering with Students Living in Ukraine

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Sometimes you see something and you just know you cannot pass this opportunity by. That’s what happened to me as I read a post by my friend Marian on Facebook on Alberta Teachers volunteering with students in Ukraine. I then contacted David who coordinates volunteers for Smart Osvita and have never looked back.Your legacy in life is created by each life you touch. This is one way to connect with youth who are presently living in Ukraine that is meaningful. I could not pass this opportunity by.I hope you too chose to volunteer.

“This opportunity is going to be life changing for those kids, but it will also be life changing for Teachers, and School Counsellors and others who deeply care about youth”

 D Falconer adapted by @sspellmancann

A Volunteer Opportunity

If you are interested in volunteering on your own please contact David Falconer (see below) , but if you’d like to co-present with me please contact me at @sspellmancann on twitter

Background

David Falconer dffalconer@gmail.com . Volunteer recruiter Principal in Nunavut. More about David and his volunteer work with NGO Smart Osvita   

David signed on to a program that gives children who are presently living in Ukraine hour-long virtual lessons where they get to learn about a place in the world, or a topic of interest. The goal is to provide the youth with an hour that they can escape from their worries and focus on their well-being. So fortunately for me I got to present with my co-workers and wellness team Sheila Stacey and Deanne Arada two amazing counsellors who are passionate about making a difference for young people.

Ukrainian children log in to Zoom sessions at whatever location they can, then Falconer , teachers, School Counsellors and others tell them about life where they are and / or present a lesson. Our goal is to make it interactive , provide as much Canadian content as possible while being fun and letting youth escape the worries of the world.

Falconer has had up to 250 people taking part,in his sessions  providing Ukrainian children “an hour where they can dream and be totally separated from their current reality.” There are thousands of displaced students needing this support. 

Falconer said the lessons being organized are supposed to be educational, but “ultimately, the goal is to have these kids know that people care and indeed that is what we hoped as well. We have completed three sessions and plan on many more and we sincerely hope you do too. Our ultimate goal is to leave them feeling uplifted and hope filled and from their feedback we believe we accomplished this so far.

It is so important to not retraumatize youth providing them with a sense of safety allowing for activities that help them feel truly connected . When planning sessions presenters need to be mindful of this.

For youth who are affected by trauma, the teacher / school counsellor play an even more vital role. Volunteering in this capacity does makes a difference.

What You May Want to Know:

You can do this!!!! It’s fun and a great way to make a meaningful contribution. Feeling powerless like you can’t do anything …well yes YOU CAN, The students so appreciate what you do. They are absolutely amazing. The interpreter is so helpful and positive.You don’t have to do this alone. Find a co-fascilitator. We planned our sessions together and did a run through before each session which was so, so beneficial. We know you will love this experience too. So jump in and do it, you will be so glad you did!

Resources:

These are some potential resources for you, some may be applicable , so please use what works for you. Just be yourself, share some of your life and most importantly pass on a little hope.

Send a message to the people of Ukraine. We’ll translate it.


Please remember to practice self-care and share how you do with the youth. You will be in the presence of extraordinary acts of courage as you connect with these young people. Embrace all the moments.

Meichenbaum Matters

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There are some therapists who contribute more than others to the helping professions and Donald Meichenbaum is one of them. I have been privileged to attend a couple of his trainings. If you ever get the chance I suggest you sign up for one. I love that he has so generously given us resources that are not only practical, but helpful. If you are a School Counsellor/ Psychologist or Psychotherapist I know you will enjoy his book the Roadmap to Resilience . Bonus it’s free.

Thank you Dr. Meichenbaum for all the work you do with the melissa institute to help othersl

A- Z Tips for Alcohol Inks

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  • Anything goes, have fun.
  • Be like a child and create.
  • Create, don’t critique.
  • Don’t give up … Don’t be afraid to try new things … pour and play.
  • Experiment with different papers like Yupo and different inks.
  • Forget about your worries and create art instead.
  • Get your space ready to play.
  • Have a blast. 
  • Imagine all the great things you will create.
  • Just be yourself and create what makes you happy.
  • Kindness matters when you start out. Everyone can do art and we all get better with time.
  • Let go and let it flow.
  • Mistakes make marvelous art pieces.
  • Music brings out the creativity in you . Listen while you create.
  • Practice , Practice, Practice.
  • Quit saying you can’t … you can!
  • Relax and let the paint take you away.
  • Safety matters, ventilation and masks make for a safe work space.
  • Trust the process.
  • Uplift friends who are new to alcohol inks.
  • Visualize what you’d like to create, then do it!
  • Watch lots of artists’ YouTube videos.
  • XO from me to you.
  • You’ve got this!
  • Zazzy that’s you and so will your paintings be.

It’s A New Year … It’s A New Day

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2021 was an extremely challenging year for me. Loss, Covid in many of my family members, eye issues (plenty of those), plus many other unpleasant life experiences, so I need a new story for this next chapter. I need to bring passion back into my life. Life will always bring us tough times, some years more than others.

In 2022,

  • I will look forward to each day, creating new ways to find hope for myself.
  • I will do new things.
  • I will change my story to one of true acceptance of all the things I cannot change.
  • I will focus on opportunities instead of obstacles.
  • I will give more love to myself and those around me.
  • I will remember to be grateful that I am alive and acknowledge that I have much to look forward to.
  • I will choose to live fully as much as humanly possible each day.
  • I will be a better version of myself.
  • I will recognize that I am human and will have sad times, but I will not stay in those feelings.

I’m not finished yet and neither are you. It’s a new year … it’s a new day to really live. #walkalongwithme

Good Things Happen

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My neighbours have made where I live a great neighbourhood to live in. They truly make this world a better place. Good things happen here and I am so grateful. Thanks for being so phenomenal.

Books to Help High School Students Navigate Life

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I asked a few of my educator friends about a book they would recommend and here is the list. I’ll start with my favourite by Viktor Frankl. The rest are in no particular order.

1. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

2. Tuesdays With Morrie

3. Wherever You Go There You Are

4. The Alchemist

5. Make A Dash

6. The Hate You Give

7. Fountainhead

8. The Upside of Unrequited

9. The Total Money Makeover

10. A Child Called It

11. Make Your Bed

12. Everything I know I learned In Kindergarden

13. City of Joy

14. Don’t Throw Sand in The Sandbox

15. 1984

16. Grapes of Wrath

17. To Kill A Mockingbird

18. Do What You Are

19. Netsmart

20. Financial Peace University

What book would you recommend?

People Not Programs Change Children

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We all know that relationships matter, but sometimes we still need reminders. We keep searching for the perfect programs to help kids. In my opinion , time would be better spent being the person who makes a difference in a child’s life and helping increase the quality and number of people who can make a positive impact.

There are so many children who need our help for a multitude of reasons. Find ways to support, nurture, interact, listen to, respect, give hope to, and connect kids with people and resources that can help them.

Be that adult who attends to the emotional health of the children as well as your own. Model your humanity and compassion daily. Provide a safe haven where you and those you work with enjoy going to school each day, no matter the stresses of the world. Be present each day to the best of your ability and forgive yourself and others if things don’t go as planned. It’s more than OK to not feel at your best each day considering the circumstances, just do the best you can for the kids and reach out for support if and when you need it.

It is especially challenging being an educator right now like no other time I have experienced in my past forty years in education. I know what you do matters and I want to thank you for all that you do. Click here for a little gift. I hope in some small way this brightens your day.

People not programs change children. You have an abnormally large heart , I am sure that’s why you became an educator in the first place, so continue to be one of those people who makes a difference in the life of a child while taking good care of yourself.