Human Connection Will Always Matter: AI From A Counselling Perspective

  “AI is a Child of Humanity” T Panova

This week someone asked me why at my age I am so interested in AI. There are so many reasons, but it is mainly because I care about humanity. I want to learn so that I have a better understanding for my children, your children and my future grandchildren. Besides we are never too old to learn and now is the opportune time to do so.

As a Psychologist and former School Counsellor, I hope that you will explore resources and information that will guide you on a journey to understanding the complex world of AI. More importantly, I hope that you will bring humanity into all your conversations when it comes to AI. I believe that the therapeutic alliance will be more essential than ever before. AI won’t be able to connect the way a counsellor or therapist can. AI won’t be able to help in crisis situations. AI is not human although some may begin to treat it so. The counselling relationship is key and will always matter when it comes to being a helping professional. AI will most likely be used to augment and enhance counselling processes, so understanding how to utilize it will be of the utmost importance.

AI has the potential to impact an individual’s well-being, privacy, and autonomy. As counsellors, it is crucial to address the ethical implications of AI and ensure that its development, implementation, and use align with ethical standards. As counsellors and therapists our ethical standards will need to be revised.

Discussing AI from a counselling perspective will allow for a critical examination of its potential benefits and risks, fostering informed decision-making and responsible use now and in the future. Throughout these months in ETMOOC2 for which I am extremely grateful, I have been doing a lot of reading, discussing and thinking about AI. I hope that you too will begin exploring and learning. We are just at the beginning stages of paying attention and learning how AI will impact all of us. 

AI technology will most likely have psychological effects on individuals. For example, chatbots or virtual assistants designed to provide emotional support may impact the therapeutic relationship between clients and human counsellors. There is no way to predict how and what impact this will have. Time will tell, but we will need to assist clients who develop a trusting relationship with an AI instead of a human and the impacts that could potentially have on their therapeutic outcomes.

Addressing AI from a counselling perspective will allow for the exploration of the potential benefits and drawbacks of incorporating AI into therapeutic settings and school settings . We will need to consider the psychological impact on clients and students in the near future. How will you address these issues?

How will AI gather personal data, analyze emotional expressions, or even provide mental health assessments accurately?  It is important to discuss the potential impact of AI on emotional well-being and mental health, ensuring that AI systems are designed and used in ways that promote individuals’ psychological well-being. There is much to consider when it comes to AI.

How will AI enhance your counselling process?

Will AI help, harm or heal?

What part will you play in making a difference when it comes to AI?

How will you keep up and pay attention to the ethical considerations?

Will AI ever be able to show empathy, compassion, intuition, or cultural nuances?

I really like what Sherry Turkle asks, “Are we really ready to become a machine’s companion even if they are willing to become ours?”

As AI technology becomes more prevalent, individuals will continue to increasingly interact with AI systems in various domains of life. As Counsellors we can play a significant role in helping individuals navigate these interactions, offering support in establishing healthy boundaries, managing expectations, and coping with potential challenges that may arise in human-AI interactions. Knowing what resources are helpful will make a difference in you assisting your clients.

Ensuring that all voices are included in the training of AI systems so that biases will appear less frequently is essential. AI algorithms already perpetuate and amplify these biases. Let’s work together for positive change that is more inclusive for all.

Understanding AI from a counselling perspective will allow for discussions of the potential preferences in AI systems and their implications. We need to ensure that our, and our client’s privacy rights are respected and protected now and in the future.

By addressing AI from a counselling perspective, you as a helping professional can help raise awareness, promote responsible and ethical AI practices, and support individuals in navigating the impact of AI on their well-being and mental health. My suggestion for learning how AI will impact what you do is to start slow and learn as much as you can whenever you can. 

AI does matter when it comes from a counselling perspective. My hope is that you take a look at some of the resources below and share your resources, thoughts and ideas. Some articles could be used as a starting dialogue for professional development sessions, others may pique your personal interest in this topic.My suggestion is to put down or better yet put away your phones whenever you are face-to-face with another person. Have a real conversation making them the most important person in the room whether discussing AI or not. I look forward to staying connected with others who will commit to keeping AI and humanity at the forefront of their growth knowing that human connection will always matter.

AI References and Resources

Mastering The Connection: It’s All About Relationships

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Truly fulfilling relationships are not about wanting to change someone or about finding someone who is perfect and without flaws, we all have them. It’s about having the courage to be yourself allowing yourself to be seen and having your partner or your friend accept you for who you truly are. If we want to build deep connections with another person we need to be vulnerable and let them see the real us. Discovering our true selves can be a lifelong journey that requires continuous effort and introspection.

In all relationships, we will make mistakes and can even end up possibly hurting the other person. Our partner or friend is not supposed to meet all of our needs, that’s up to us to do so. Having the courage to recognize the times when we need support from someone else whether that be a friend or professional is important. It takes courage to reach out especially for those in an abusive relationship, but doing so could help to make better connections and healthier decisions.

Conflict is normal in any relationship, but if we communicate honestly and find ways to work through the challenges, building trust in one another, a healthy relationship can be the end result. One way we can do this is by letting our partner or friend know when we need a break and by not giving them the silent treatment or in other words as Gottman calls it stonewalling, which can be emotionally abusive. If you are looking to improve any relationship Gottman has great tips.

Emotional connections are important, however, if we are always looking at the needs of someone else and not paying attention to our own, or if we fall into unhealthy relationship patterns we need to look deeper into the why and make some changes.

In healthy relationships each partner is looking out for the other, recognizing that they need to make compromises and that life can sometimes get messy. It isn’t about a long life together that is miserable, it’s about a life together that has way more ups than downs. A life where you can say I love and care deeply about that other human being be it a friend or lover.

There may come a time when you ask yourself do I need to end this relationship? While not easy, it may be necessary. I love this thread by Dr. Nicola Pera on when to end a relationship. It is thoughtful and wise.

Deciding to end a relationship can be a difficult and complex process. Here are some questions to consider:

  1. How do you feel when you’re around this person? Do you feel energized and happy or drained and unhappy?
  2. Do you trust this person? Do you believe what they say or do you feel like they’re hiding something from you?
  3. Is this a one-sided relationship?
  4. Is your partner/friend unable or unwilling to change and meet your needs?
  5. Does your partner/friend consistently break promises or fail to live up to their commitments?
  6. Are you staying in the relationship because you’re afraid of being alone or because you genuinely want to be with this person?
  7. Are my interactions with this person way more positive than negative?
  8. Are you compromising your values or sacrificing your happiness for the sake of the relationship?
  9. Are you constantly questioning whether this is a healthy relationship?
  10. Do you like who you are in this relationship?

Ultimately, the decision to end a relationship is a personal one. There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Considering these questions could possibly help you gain clarity and insight into whether ending the relationship is the right choice for you.

Letting go is never easy, and at times we all have to make the choice that is right for us. There have also been times when I have been open to new friendships along this journey of life. Friends who make me a better human being. Friends who make my world a better place by being in it. You know who you are. I am so grateful I remained open.

Healthy relationships are about mutual respect, trust, setting boundaries, love, acceptance and support. When we create foundations of trust and love that weather all the storms, relationships can be amazing.

I am grateful for all the incredible long-lasting relationships that have graced my life making me a better person along the way. I look forward to continuing to nurture and cultivate these connections for years to come. Mastering the connection, and having relationships that last a lifetime is not always easy, but it is worth all the time and effort that make it possible.

It’s A New Year … It’s A New Day

2021 was an extremely challenging year for me. Loss, Covid in many of my family members, eye issues (plenty of those), plus many other unpleasant life experiences, so I need a new story for this next chapter. I need to bring passion back into my life. Life will always bring us tough times, some years more than others.

In 2022,

  • I will look forward to each day, creating new ways to find hope for myself.
  • I will do new things.
  • I will change my story to one of true acceptance of all the things I cannot change.
  • I will focus on opportunities instead of obstacles.
  • I will give more love to myself and those around me.
  • I will remember to be grateful that I am alive and acknowledge that I have much to look forward to.
  • I will choose to live fully as much as humanly possible each day.
  • I will be a better version of myself.
  • I will recognize that I am human and will have sad times, but I will not stay in those feelings.

I’m not finished yet and neither are you. It’s a new year … it’s a new day to really live. #walkalongwithme

Good Things Happen

My neighbours have made where I live a great neighbourhood to live in. They truly make this world a better place. Good things happen here and I am so grateful. Thanks for being so phenomenal.

All It Takes Is A Defining Moment

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For Desmond Tutu meeting Trevor Huddleston determined the path of his life. In my own life there are many defining moments that led me to who I am today. Teachers, coaches , community members and a School Counsellor had an impact.

In grade 12 (1976) my School Counsellor Mrs. Brown gave me $100.00 towards my post secondary education. My family could not afford to pay my way. I was the first in my family to go to University so it was certainly a big deal. I did not realize at the time just how much money that was or even how incredible it was that she did that. What a gift and an impact she had on the trajectory of my life. A lacrosse scholarship and a bursary ( both recommended by community members) paid for all four years of my Bachelor of Child Study degree. How fortunate was I ?

I never underestimate the power of a small (albeit grand) gesture in forming who we are and what we choose to do in our lives. I intentionally make sure each day I work with students I keep that in mind. I intentionally pay it forward on as many occasions as I can.

All it takes is a defining moment and you might be the one that makes that happen and if someone makes that happen for you tell them.

People Not Programs Change Children

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We all know that relationships matter, but sometimes we still need reminders. We keep searching for the perfect programs to help kids. In my opinion , time would be better spent being the person who makes a difference in a child’s life and helping increase the quality and number of people who can make a positive impact.

There are so many children who need our help for a multitude of reasons. Find ways to support, nurture, interact, listen to, respect, give hope to, and connect kids with people and resources that can help them.

Be that adult who attends to the emotional health of the children as well as your own. Model your humanity and compassion daily. Provide a safe haven where you and those you work with enjoy going to school each day, no matter the stresses of the world. Be present each day to the best of your ability and forgive yourself and others if things don’t go as planned. It’s more than OK to not feel at your best each day considering the circumstances, just do the best you can for the kids and reach out for support if and when you need it.

It is especially challenging being an educator right now like no other time I have experienced in my past forty years in education. I know what you do matters and I want to thank you for all that you do. Click here for a little gift. I hope in some small way this brightens your day.

People not programs change children. You have an abnormally large heart , I am sure that’s why you became an educator in the first place, so continue to be one of those people who makes a difference in the life of a child while taking good care of yourself.

Growing Up By The Sea

It gets harder and harder to leave a place I love, leaving behind so many friends and family for yet another year. Being near the water brings me such a sense of peace, except when there is an expected hurricane of course, but that doesn’t happen very often.

I loved growing up near the sea. I love being near, listening to the sounds of the water and just looking out and observing the ever changing Mira River. I am connected to the beauty and the people here and each year I need to let go and go west. The coming and the going like the flow of the ocean, is what I am meant to do.

As I head back west I look forward to that chapter as my family and friends there too. I am connected deeply to both places. Fortunately for me I had the joy of growing up near the sea and can keep coming back.

Maintaining connections with great friends although I moved so far away so long ago, has allowed me to feel like I belong.

Growing up near the sea will always be a part of me.

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Celebrate the Moments

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Today is my mom’s 81st birthday and I surprised her with a visit.Last year we got to celebrate her 80th with a big splash. It’s important to celebrate life everyday, but especially important to acknowledge all the special days. Today I got to spend time with my family. I live 4,836 km away and have for the past forty years. I come home every summer and already got to spend time with my mom , but I am still 397 km away. So today I drove to see my mom for her birthday.

Don’t forget the birthdays, the anniversaries the special occasions, but especially remember to surprise people every now and then with your presence , a gift ,a letter a note or something that will make someone’s day. It’s always been important, but especially now. Celebrate the moments , but more important celebrate the people.

A Little Appreciation

There are a lot of people at work in schools right now doing some pretty amazing things. They are tired, overworked, feeling a multitude of emotions and often underappreciated for what they do. If you are a principal, supervisor, superintendent or someone who has a team working with you, take time to appreciate them. My challenge to you is to carve out 5 minutes to ask them how they are and tell them how much you appreciate them and what they are doing during this time. It matters. A little appreciation goes a long way.

School Counsellors Are There To Help

School Counsellors are trained professionals who understand child development, often with Masters degrees in Counselling or more, who partake in ongoing professional development and extensive mental health training . They know school culture and how the education system works, making them readily able to help youth in an effective manner.

Often the first place students present any concerns are in schools because that is where they spend so much time. The educators get to know students well building trusting relationships. School Counsellors have the whole child in mind with access to a comprehensive background regarding the students history in school, so are often able to make decisions collaboratively in the best interest of students.

If you are a new teacher and have never accessed your School Counsellor , please do so. They are there to help you help the student. When all work together to help our youth it is more likely to make a difference in the life of a child. Now more than ever we must do all we can together to help.